Scruffy, a cocker spaniel that belonged to my daughter Samantha became my buddy and we were inseparable especially after my retirement. His life revolved around me and I remained his constant companion until he breathed his last. Some of my feelings towards his end are as follows:-
June 30, 2015.
He is a pale shadow of the scruffy you are accustomed to. What a change in the last few days....graceful degeneration...painful for him but he has been dignified and calm taking it in his stride eventhough his kidneys more or less stopped functioning, registering creatinine level of 15. He is only 11 years, a senior small dog.
I felt somewhat happy and hopeful when he started eating fish after three weeks of IV feeding, creatinine level came down to 9, still very high, but a declining trend giving him appetite to relish the fresh fish that he likes and I enjoyed going to the market with him to buy, cooking and feeding. Alas, it was a short respite and kidney failed again to record a creatinine level of 16. He started throwing up every thing and then stopped eating anything. Back to IV fluids twice a day but no improvement at all, this time. On the contrary, deterioration day by day. He stopped barking...stopped hugging me...breathing through the mouth...couldn't follow me for walks or climb stairs. I got the worst fears on how long he would last out and none among the four vets of Cotton City Pet Clinic could give me a positive opinion.
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>> July 10, 2015
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>> But scruffy is a fighter and there are miracles that happen, I think, as I see him resilient and slowly coming round . There may be a psychological angle to his recovery this week. He is very happy to see Samantha. Her presence did something miraculous to his psyche. We gave him a little bit of chicken that he relished. Although he vomited next morning we gave him some more pieces. He has been vomiting but there has been remarkable changes in him--- more alert , he barks , he hugs me and he is more steady on feet. It is visible, the way he has been struggling to regain his old form!
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>> With Sammu home I could go to Bangalore for a couple of days and when I returned I found him better. The vets cautioned, ups and downs are common. Well, we went on a drive to Agali in Kerala. Scruffy was happy. But I noticed him throwing up. It was perhaps the beginning of a slide down.
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>> July 20, 2015
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>> In two days, Sammu left for Delhi. Scruffy was with us to drop her at the Airport. He tried to be his usual self barking to announce that he didn't want her to leave. On the way home he was quiet but I saw him vomiting in the car. In the days that followed it was nightmarish for me. His condition deteriorated day by day. He stopped eating. He made an exception last Saturday to eat a small piece of chicken to please me, I believe. But the next day he vomited that too. The vet advised me not to prolong his agony albeit Scruffy was getting his IV fluids that prolonged life. Soon Scruffy needed help in getting in and out of the car. He looked very weak and anaemic. I got into a dilemma. I talked to both Samantha and Cynthia but it was my call and I took the decision to end his life. I must tell you what happened on last Sunday. Shanta wanted to visit Brookfield and I couldn't take Scruffy along. I was worried and while at the Mall I lost sight of Shanta to her annoyance. She cut short the shopping and we returned home. Scruffy was nowhere in the hall, kitchen or bedroom on the ground floor. I rushed up to see him on his favourite bed in Samantha's room. It was a Herculean effort in his condition to climb up and jump on to the bed; I could not believe my eyes! My eyes got moist and soon wet; I hugged him and lied on the bed next to him caressing him for a long time. In fact Sammu told me the previous day to put him on her bed and he would smell her scent on the bed and feel peaceful and happy . He did exactly that but on his own despite being so weak and unsteady!
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>> Today is a very sad day. I'm carrying Scruffy to his grave. He was on his favourite bed all night. I took him out to the terrace ; he could barely stand but he peed before I lifted him and put him back on the bed. I took the phone and called him. He lifted his head and posed for the last photo on the bed, Samantha's bed, he is fond of. I lied down by his side for a few minutes, got him water and he obliged to have a sip. Now I took him in my arms and brought him down; Shanta kissed him and opened the car door for his last journey on his favourite vehicle.
>> His end was most peaceful. I didn't cry as I watched him sinking. The vet did it with professional skill and my Scruffy, Sam's Scruffy, Cynthia's and Shanta's Scruffy, GreenFort's Scruffy left for ever!
>> He was a great companion for me and I'm unable to bear the loss. We had been buddies throughout. When I was not confident about my own long distance driving he had been next to me to encourage me. We travelled together from Coimbatore to Bangalore and Chenniai and back a couple of times and both of us enjoyed. He used to follow me even when he was too unwell...towards the end he needed my help though. The vets at the clinic too got to like him. He was a very very lucky pet, according to the doctors. It had been a great relationship between us and thoughts about Scruffy keep coming to mind. I keep seeing him every where especially when I close my eyes!
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>> Sent from my iPhone
